


Holding Out

by 360loverpenguin



Category: Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon)
Genre: But can be taken as that, Cass' redemption of sorts, Episode: s03e18 Once a Handmaiden..., Not explicitly Cassarian, Not explicitly a sequel though, Really up to you, Sort of a pairing to my work Reaching Out, Varian wants to help Cass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:35:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22950325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/360loverpenguin/pseuds/360loverpenguin
Summary: His thoughts began to race, the guilt of everything happening coming back full force, causing Varian to practically sprint over to the door of the restaurant they had taken heed in, desperate to get away from them.He shoved the door open, the cool evening air providing a welcome distraction as it clashed against his skin. He took an uncertain step away from the battered wooden threshold of the restaurant, he had no plan for when he reached her. He just needed to see her, to apologize, to fix the aftermath of his actions.
Relationships: Cassandra & Varian (Disney: Tangled)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 74





	Holding Out

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So this was written as sort of a mirror to Reaching Out (you don't have to read that though), hence the title. I wanted to explore Varian's emotions throughout and after Once a Handmaiden..., so that's what this'll be about.
> 
> Also, there's [fanart of this fic](https://sta.sh/0wp0p3vf251), which is super exciting!! Go support this amazing artist.

Varian let out a shaky breath. Each powerful beat of his heart against his chest steadily sending a twang of guilt through his body. His eyes burned, yet no tears appeared as he stared down at the cloak in his hands. His gaze was distant, him not really registering anything in front of him, too consumed by his own thoughts.

The guilt rushed over him almost immediately after everyone had evacuated the kingdom. Or perhaps before, everything after Cass being trapped in the amber was a blur to him. One fact rang clear in his mind, the only one he was able to focus on. He did this. When Eugene had come to him seeking to protect the kingdom... he had agreed to create a weapon. To use on Cass. Using the substance that had nearly torn his life apart.

What had he been thinking? He hadn’t realized the weight, one seemingly tugging on his racing heart at that very moment, that would come with seeing her slowly overcome by the clear orange substance. It could have happened within a matter of seconds, and honestly probably had, but it felt like a lifetime to Varian. He should have done something... anything! Ran to help her, told Eugene to stand down...

But his limbs and mind had frozen. Every instinct that should’ve told him to run, move, do something had gone numb. A fear he hadn’t felt in years clawing at him for a moment until he saw her break free of the substance he created.

She had reached out to him. And he had done nothing. Hadn’t helped when she’d been hurting. And he hated himself for it.

Tears finally came to his dry eyes, a single one unconsciously slipping on the fabric he was clutching in his hands. He had sworn to himself he wouldn’t stop fighting for her. Would keep reaching out for the girl he knew was still in there. And he hadn’t. He had turned to fighting her.

This situation felt oddly familiar to Varian, though Varian now seemed to be on the other side of it, as if he was now looking into a window rather than out of it. And the pain that came with the realization he was now turning his back on Cass... just as Rapunzel had done to him, seemed to knock the air out of his lungs.

He breathing became more shallow, faint sobs shaking their way through as he ran his gloved fingers over the faded white seam of the cloak he grasped in his hands. It was the last piece of her he still held onto. The last one he could reach.

No, he couldn’t allow himself to believe that. He could reach her, as long as he never stopped fighting. He just... he needed another chance with her.

He turned the rough grey fabric in his hands, wondering what kind of material it was made of. He forced his mind to focus on the science behind the seemingly magic object rather than... than any of the crushing thoughts in his brain.

When Cass has worn it... she had appeared as someone else? He couldn’t have been sure, but it had seemed another maid was standing beside the princess before Cass had appeared. If that was the case, it could be used to seek into the palace.

Varian’s head was clear enough to know she wouldn’t let him, nor anyone else near the castle (and, in all honestly, wasn’t sure the princess would let him anywhere near the palace either), but perhaps she’d trust the one person working alongside her?

Varian visibly shuddered at that thought. The only one Cass had at the moment was an ancient warlock bent on destroying Corona. Because he and the others had given up on Cass.  
He flicked a stray tear off of the grainy fabric, his hands trembling as he threw the cloak over his shoulders, the weight of the leather like substance placing an unfamiliar weight across them. The cloak was too big on him, providing much possibility for a fall, just as the situation he faced.

“If I don’t apologize, I’ll never make this right.” He whispered to himself, “She’ll be lost... forever.” He resolved, feigning as much courage in his soft voice as he could muster. He was terrified. Rapunzel had spoken of the creature Cass had been working with, and that, plus the legends gave him only one fact about what he would be facing. It wouldn’t end well. But... if he could be in that much danger then what of Cass?

His thoughts began to race, the guilt of everything happening coming back full force, causing Varian to practically sprint over to the door of the restaurant they had taken heed in, desperate to get away from them.

He shoved the door open, the cool evening air providing a welcome distraction as it clashed against his skin. He took an uncertain step away from the battered wooden threshold of the restaurant, he had no plan for when he reached her. He just needed to see her, to apologize, to fix the aftermath of his actions.

He stepped forward again, more confidently, more urgently as he continued to put space between him and the warmth of the Snuggly Duckling. If he didn’t reach her now, it might be too late.

“Varian!” A concerned voice called from the restaurant. Varian froze, his shoulders drawing closer to himself under the weight of the cloak as he heard his father. He couldn’t speak to him, not right now. Quirin would refuse Varian’s plan in an instant, words he had heard many times echoing in the back of his mind. Dangerous. Reckless. Impulsive.

And he would be lying if he said each one didn’t burn.

And to be honest... even if he turned around now, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to meet his father’s eye. After all, the substance that had nearly killed him.... Varian has willingly made more of it. Had used it against Cass, even if he hadn’t meant to. How could he face him after that? If Quirin knew what he had done... Varian was sure he would never forgive him.

Varian picked up his pace into a run, throwing himself behind one of the trees marking the beginning of the forest, his back pressing hard against the painfully rough bark. His heart was slamming against his chest, his breathing shallow as he tried to keep is as silent as he could. He couldn’t be caught. This was his only chance to fix all he had done. To... to make up for his past.

“Zhan Tiri.” He breathed, his voice trembling as he spoke her name, throwing the cloak’s hood over his head, hoping he would be able to use the magic, if he didn’t, he had no way of reaching the palace.

Varian wasn’t sure if he was relieved or terrified as a wave of magic seemed to course over him, a quick glance down showing a black lace dress and pale grey skin where he was sure had been some worn brown pants and scuffed black boots a minute ago. He pushed himself off of the tree, surprised his arms still had the strength to do so with how much they were trembling.

He could hear his father’s footsteps and concerned calls steadily getting closer.

Hands sweating and heart shaking, Varian ran deep into the woods, in the direction he knew would lead him to the palace.

——

Varian fought back a wince as his footsteps echoed off the imposing castle walls surrounding him. They towered over him, harsh blue shadows glinting off the rocks present all throughout the castle. The moonlight shone softly through the window, illuminating off the ragged black spikes and casting their discrepant shadows over him as he continued.

Under any other circumstances, Varian might’ve even called the soft moon’s glow in the lack of torch light gorgeous, but now it only sent a hollow feeling up his spine.

This wasn’t right. The last time he had seen the normally warm and welcoming interior of the castle this lifeless had been all those years ago, when the blizzard had nearly destroyed Corona, when he… The last time he had made a mistake this grave.

He felt himself shiver at that thought, pulling the cloak closer to his shoulders, in a vain hope it might provide him some sort of comfort. He couldn’t allow himself to focus on that, not now. He had to focus on reaching her, that was the only way he could save Corona, could save her.

His shoes connected with the floors more harshly than he had imagined, them now riddled with cracks from the out of place rocks penetrating them. Varian passed another cluster of them, a distorted view of his reflection making an appearance in the dim lighting, starting him a bit as he was met not with his familiar black hair and blue eyes, but rather a, what could only be described as creature, with a much too wide grin. He forced his eyes to the door at the end of the corridor, giving him a solid goal to force his mind to fix on, the melancholy sound reverberating in his ears once more.

The painting on the walls, ones of the royal family, seemed to judge him as he walked by. He was sure the king’s berating glare could only be fixed on him, despite the slight tear in the painting where a single rock had barely scraped the paper. And a feeling Varian couldn't shake told him he deserved this. Deserved their stares, their judgement. He couldn't even bring himself to meet the green gaze of the princess, sure his resolve would crack if he did.

If not for him, they wouldn't be in this mess in the first place. He never should've agreed to create that machine, never should've suggested they use the amber. He hadn't been thinking at the time, only stupidly focusing on restoring his own name in Corona. Yeah, he had done a great job there.

He stopped only at the last frame, allowing himself to look up at the now empty space. His heart sank. He knew which picture used to hang in its’ place. It had been one of Rapunzel and Cass, the day they had almost won the Contest of the Crowns. He had noticed it during one of the first times he visited the castle, remembering how Cass’ eyes had lit up when she had told him the story behind that painting. “Yeah, so maybe I lost a job, pretty sure I got something better though.” her soft words still seemed so fresh in his mind.

He reached up, his now much shorter arms not quite reaching the bottom of the golden frame, now empty of the memories it had once held. He felt a few tear prick the bottom of his vision, “Oh Cassie, I’m so sorry.” he whispered, speaking only to himself.

She was still in there. He believed that, and this time he wasn't hollowly convincing himself of that fact. And even if she would’ve done all of this anyway, he never should’ve turned from her. The best he could do now was make things right.

He scrubbed his hand over his eyes, with a newly found resolve as he shoved the door to the large throne room aside.

There Cass sat, looking oddly small on the throne where the princess had once sat. A few fragments of rocks seemed to be providing a guard around her.

Her gaze flicked up towards him, pulled from where it had been resting on absolutely nothing. She immediately set her feet on the ground, her heels colliding harshly with the floor as she moved them from where her knees had been curled into her chest mere moments ago. She sat rigid, her eyes filled with pain, and a sudden spark of anger as she seemed to process just who exactly was standing before her.

“You. I told you to leave me alone.” she bit, and the emptiness of her voice startled Varian more than the anger he had heard in it previously ever had. She looked… lost. Hurt. Betrayed.

Varian shook the shock off of himself, remembering why he had been there in the first place as he saw what he couldn't quite tell were tear stains trailing her face. The dim light casting only shadows over her pale skin. His heart felt heavier than it had a moment ago, though he hadn't thought it possible, a sinking feeling resting in him as he saw just how wrong he had been to think it was too late for Cass. This was her standing before him, even if she didn't quite know it herself.

He immediately pulled the hood of the cloak, breaking the spell lying over him immediately, revealing him standing where it had appeared Zhan Tiri had been a moment before.

“I’m sorry.” he chocked out, any words he had planned out forgotten as he shut his eyes, a single tear which had been brimming on his eyelid making its’ way down his cheek. “I’m so, so sorry Cassie. I never should’ve built that machine, I didn't know what I was thinking… I was so wrong to give up on you, I never should’ve—.” he rambled, his voice breaking more often than he would’ve liked it to, his eyes remaining shut as a few more tears escaped him. He trailed off slightly, managing a shaky breath before forcing his weak voice to continue, “And then when it fired, you must’ve thought we were attacking you, and… all of this is my fault.” he said, the weight of the fabric he thought he had adjusted to on his shoulders all too much all at once.

Cass’ throat felt too dry to speak, his words slamming against her heart almost as roughly as it was against her chest at the moment. The moonstone began to throb painfully in her chest, her pressing her hand firmly against in in hopes of quelling the pain. She shut her eyes, forcing the only clear words in her mind to formulate, “You… didn't fire it on purpose?” she asked, mentally berating herself for how desperate she sounded.

She should get a grip, after all, just look at the mess that had happened earlier because she couldn't control her emotions. She should be furious! With herself, for allowing a small piece of her heart to believe what he said, with him for showing up after all that had happened, with the kingdom for… she wasn't sure she could call it attacking. She wasn't sure of anything in the fog of the day’s events anymore. All Cass knew is that she was tired. She was so tired of facing herself to feel what her head told her she should. Tired of having to keep fighting a battle she no longer believed in.

Yes, at first it had been about her destiny, about grabbing a shot, any shot, for herself. But… where she was now? This wasn't herd destiny. This path had no future. She had stolen it. And she didn't know why she kept fighting. Perhaps it was fear, knowing no one could forgive all she had done. Or maybe she had convinced herself that a stolen, lonely, lost destiny was better than having no plan at all.

She wanted so desperately to trust him. To make all of this stop. To run, to forget all she had done.

She watched as he shook his head at that, scrubbing his teary eyes, “No! No, I would never! I don't know what happened, I was so caught up in the moment, I just… I never should've held it up but… it fired anyway. It must’ve malfunctioned. I’m so, so sorry Cassie.” He said, voice hoarse in the room they found themselves in.

Cass felt something in her heart shift, and she trusted him. Any rational part of her brain reasoned it was a trap… but maybe she really hadn't been all that good at being rational lately. She had forced her emotions aside in the name of finding her destiny, and while she had been convinced it had been for the best… maybe it’s what had brought her here in the first place. Even if she would regret it later, she couldn't hold it all in. Not anymore. This was wrong. The power of the moonstone thudding in her chest didn't belong there. This room, this castle, were not really hers.

She stood on shaky legs from the throne she couldn't call hers, not anymore, taking the few steps down to stand level with him.

And she fell to her knees, bowing her head as the sobs she had forced to quell for so long all crashed over her at once, her chest and heart trembling as hot tears fell from her faintly glowing blue eyes. “I’m so sorry. This… there’s no one else to blame for this. For me.” she managed to choke out, unsure he heard her. It hadn't been his fault.

The next thing she felt a pair of warm arms were wrapped around her shoulders, him shaking as much as she was as they held onto each other in the middle of this disaster.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed!! Both of these amazing characters blame themselves for the situation at hand, but neither one is really at fault.
> 
> And again, [here's the lovely illustration of the ending scene](https://sta.sh/0wp0p3vf251)!


End file.
